Build a Case: Wines That Best Personify the 12 Apostles
You know you love a good “if that were a wine, what wine would that be” story. Since Easter's coming up, I figured I’d find wines that fit Jesus’s 12 apostles. I promise I’m not trying to convert you.
When Pope Francis declared that “wine was a gift from God” last January1, I thought of Jesus’s first miracle of turning water into wine since wine was safer to drink and he was at a wedding so he probably knew that people wanted to party. After reading this news, thinking about the importance of wine in religion, and drinking a few glasses of wine with my husband, I asked myself an important question–what wines would the 12 apostles be2?
I grouped Jesus’s posse into four major wine styles3:
Andrew, James the Minor, and Thaddeus (AKA The Relatively Unknown): easy-drinking white wines that can be enjoyed on any occasion
Thomas, Matthew, and Simon (AKA The Semi-Notable Saints): white wines with nuanced flavors that invite people to try other wines and even reframe their perspective of wines they don’t like
Philip, Bartholomew, and Paul (AKA The Missionaries): Pinot Noir since it’s universally acclaimed all over the world
Peter, James, and John (AKA Jesus’s Inner Circle): structured red wines meant to age a long time
Andrew, James the Minor, and Thaddeus (AKA The Relatively Unknown)
Andrew, James the Minor, and Thaddeus are the apostles that are put to the wayside as not much information is known about them (other than they went on some missions and were martyred like all of the disciples). The three of them have a common thread–scholars attribute them to being brothers of Peter, James, and John or being relatives of Jesus. It’s really easy information to remember. I figured they would be best as easy-drinking white wines that satisfy various palates and pair well with multiple dishes.
Andrew as Muscadet: Andrew is best known as the apostle Peter’s brother and a fisherman. Wines from the Muscadet region have distinct “seashell” aromas and sea spray flavors. That’s because the Melon de Bourgogne grapes used for Muscadet wine are grown closer to the ocean coast. What fisherman wouldn’t want a wine that has oceanic characteristics with their daily catch?
James the Minor as Pinot Grigio: Regardless of the debate about whether this apostle is Jesus’s brother or cousin, James the Minor is an apostle you tend to forget about– kind of like Pinot Grigio. Pinot Grigio gets a bad reputation for being “basic” so it’s easily written off. When you taste a Pinot Grigio that has more complexity than just lemon water, your mind gets blown. Complex Pinot Grigios with aromas and flavors of wet stone, fresh chopped greens (such as tarragon, parsley, or lettuce), and subtle white flowers are not only enjoyable but they make you want to know more about them just like James the Minor.
Thaddeus (or Jude or Jude Thaddeus depending on your translation) as Sauvignon Blanc: Similar to James the Minor, there is debate about whether the apostle Thadeaus is Jesus’s brother, and more importantly, if his name is either Thaddeus or Jude. This debate over this disciple reminds me of Sauvignon Blanc. Sauvignon Blanc is a grape that took on a different name in California (“Fumé Blanc” by Robert Mondavi4) similar to Thaddeus being synonymous with Jude the apostle. Regardless of any discussion of who Thaddeus is or if you refer to Sauvignon Blanc as “Fumé Blanc”, there is consistency in the base of who they are–Thaddeus/Jude being Jesus’ apostle and Sauvignon Blanc/Fumé Blanc having signature notes of citrus, green pepper, and wet stone.
Thomas, Matthew, and Simon (AKA The Semi-Notable Apostles)
Thomas, Matthew, and Simon are the apostles who have slightly more distinction than Andrew, James the Minor, and Thaddeus because of specific stories in the Bible or their missionary work. Because of those distinctions, I feel these apostles should be compared to complex and notable white wines.
“Doubting Thomas” as Riesling: We all know the story about this apostle and how he wanted to make sure Jesus did rise from the dead by touching his crucifixion wounds. Thomas’s sentiment reminds me of how wine drinkers perceive Riesling–Riesling is a sweet wine too. That is true when made a certain way. But when those drinkers experience a dry Riesling (specifically Rheingau, Rheinhessen, Pfalz, Germany; Kamptal or Kremstal, Austria or Clare Valley; or Eden Valley, Australia), it’s literally like they see the light that Riesling is not sweet. If you’re one of those “I don’t think Riesling is dry; it’s always sweet” drinkers, try a dry Riesling–and you won’t doubt it again just like Thomas.
Matthew as Chablis: Matthew (formerly known as Levi) was a tax collector, so of course he wasn’t well-liked until Jesus accepted him as an apostle. The story reminds me of attitudes towards Chardonnay. Some wine drinkers say they “hate Chardonnay, but love White Burgundy, especially Chablis”. Yet, they don’t realize that White Burgundy and Chablis are wines made from the Chardonnay grape. That’s mainly because the cooler climate of those regions helps maintain Chardonnay’s acidity and balance out the “oaky, milky” flavors and textures. Then, they suddenly appreciate and accept Chardonnay similar to how Jesus’s other apostles accepted Matthew.
Simon the Zealot as Chenin Blanc: Simon’s label as a zealot shows his enthusiasm for Christianity. Simon’s enthusiasm reminds me of wine drinkers’ and professionals' excitement for Chenin Blanc. Chenin Blanc is one of those wines that no matter what style you have or if you drink it young or if you drink it mature, it keeps on giving you new aromas and flavors. You can get ripe peaches, honeysuckle, wet wool, and wet chalk in a dry style; you can get ripe yellow apples, fresh white flowers, white button mushrooms, and wet granite in a sparkling style; you can get dried apricots, jasmine potpourri, and wet gray stones in a sweet style. Chenin Blanc is a wine that excites wine drinkers like Jesus’s lessons excited Simon.
Phillip, Bartholomew, and Paul (AKA The Notable Missionaries)
Missionary work is essential in Jesus’s teachings, and Phillip, Bartholomew, and Paul were the apostles whose mission work is more well-known than the other six apostles previously mentioned. If there is one grape that is renowned wherever it is grown and mirrors the acclaim of these apostles, it is Pinot Noir.
Philip as Pinot Noir from the Southern Hemisphere (i.e. New Zealand and Argentina): Philip’s missions in Eurasia, Styria, and modern-day Turkey5 are not as significant as the other notable missionaries. Stories of Philip remind me of Pinot Noir from the Southern Hemisphere. Pinot Noir from places such as New Zealand and Argentina does not have as much popularity as Pinot Noir from the United States or Burgundy. Then, similar to “Doubting Thomas” and Riesling, you experience and end up enjoying Pinot Noir from these areas after tasting it because the flavor profiles are a little brighter with more exotic aromas and flavors (such as blood orange and strawberry-cardamom compote).
Bartholomew as Pinot Noir from the United States: Bartholomew is best known for his mission in India and Armenia. His renown reminds me of Pinot Noir from the United States. Pinot Noir from the United States is very diverse because every place it is grown in the country (California, Oregon, and New York) produces delectably different flavor profiles. The nuanced differences of Pinot Noir grown throughout the United States make it popular among wine drinkers. Of course, it still does not compare to Red Burgundy’s popularity like Bartholomew’s mission work does not compare to Paul’s mission work.
Paul as Red Burgundy: It’s no surprise Paul and Red Burgundy are a match. Paul’s many letters in the Bible show how much missionary work he has done. Red Burgundy is one of the most acclaimed wines in the world. It is a collector's item as Paul’s letters are included in an everlasting anthology. It is always ordered at restaurants as Paul’s letters are frequently referred to for ceremonial readings. Red Burgundy can age and still maintain its freshness while developing ethereal earthy notes similar to how Paul’s letters in the Bible have some relevance in trying to be a decent person no matter what time.
James, John, and Peter (AKA Jesus’s Inner Circle)
James, John, and Peter are the three apostles everyone and their mother knows. They were the ones that established Christianity and its church. Naturally, they are structured, age-worthy red wines.
James as Rioja: James may not have as much pedigree as John and Peter. His fun fact, however, is his mission work in present-day Spain6–making him the country's patron saint. Rioja makes the most sense for James. Rioja (made primarily from Tempranillo) spends so many years aging in oak barrels that sometimes the current vintage release of Rioja can be from 8-10 years ago. While James was the first of the inner circle to die, his legacy lives on just as Rioja can withstand a long time in the cellar before enjoying it.
John as Xinomavro: John is known for a lot of things: writing a gospel and the book of Revelations, “being the disciple whom Jesus loved”7, and being the only apostle to not be executed. He lived out the rest of his life in exile on an island off the coast of Greece. Naturally, I wanted his wine to be Xinomavro–Greece’s signature red wine with elevated acidity and tannin structure similar to Nebbiolo in Piedmont, Italy. It gets better with age, just as John lived a long life.
Peter as Cabernet Sauvignon: Peter–Jesus’s most famous apostle and founder the the Catholic church–deserves to be compared to the most well-known age-worthy red wine. Both Peter and Cabernet Sauvignon (whether it is from France, California, or Chile) are esteemed in their respective communities of religious scholars and wine drinkers. Scholars, priests, and Christian followers look to Peter as a role model of faith. Wine producers around the world look to make Cabernet Sauvignon that can be drunk at any stage of its “wine life” because of its popularity. This was a match made in heaven.
That’s my recommended case of wines Jesus’s 12 apostles would be. Time to assemble and decide which bottle you are drinking first.
I excluded Judas Iscariot because of his reputation. He is replaced with Paul. Although Paul wasn’t one of the original 12 disciples, he did a lot of notable missionary work like the original disciples. If Judas Iscariot was a wine, he’d be a corked wine.
Source for all the six minor disciples: Overview Bible (I can only research so much)
This is amazing! Well done. 🥂